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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22356019">opposite of loneliness isn't togetherness (it's intimacy)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexa_lives_in_us/pseuds/lexa_lives_in_us'>lexa_lives_in_us</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Janaya Week 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>AND GAY, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Established Relationship, F/F, Intimacy, Janaya Week, Janaya Week 2020, Modern AU, Non-Sexual Intimacy, janaya - Freeform, soft</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-04-28 08:55:10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,896</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22356019</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/lexa_lives_in_us/pseuds/lexa_lives_in_us</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Janaya Week - Day 3: Intimacy</p>
<p>It shouldn’t come as a surprise when, in lieu of the first weekend off they both have in ages, Kazi asks her that question.<br/>“Are you going to be intimate?”<br/>Janai opens her mouth to answer, to tell Kazi that, although the word works well in their native language, it sounds way too formal for Common.<br/>And she stops.<br/>What does intimacy mean, anyway?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Amaya/Janai (The Dragon Prince)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Janaya Week 2020 [3]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1606216</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>105</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Intimacy</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>opposite of loneliness isn't togetherness (it's intimacy)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Common - In modern setting, I went for the equivalent of English that is used in Dungeons and Dragons<br/>There's a flashback in there... I tried to format it differently but... I don't know if it worked?! It might be different from mobile.<br/>Unbeta'd... It also came to me while super high and watching Bob Ross so, you know.<br/>Read at your own risk.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <strong>Day 3 - Intimacy</strong><br/>
<strong>Janaya Week 2020</strong>
</p>
<p> </p><hr/>
<p> </p>
<p>Kazi is not exactly subtle when it comes to asking her about her love life.</p>
<p>Janai doesn’t really hold it against them: a lot of it gets lost in translation, as they both make an effort to speak Common while in the office.</p>
<p>Last time they tried to have a conversation in their own language, the humans around them had looked at them in a very non-welcoming way, and both Kazi and Janai had promised to each other to keep it to a minimum.</p>
<p>It was hard enough to be a woman in a Law firm. Being an elf made it all even harder.</p>
<p>And with Janai being openly gay and Kazi being openly non-binary, people at the office gossiped about them enough already.</p>
<p>So, really, conversing in Common is just the easiest way to keep those looks to a minimum.</p>
<p>But that, of course, can sometimes be a challenge.</p>
<p>Kazi’s Common is impressive for such a young elf. They’re still a student, and they’re interning at the firm just for the summer.</p>
<p>But Janai has had a soft spot for Kazi since the first day she’s met them.</p>
<p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>Janai holds the door open, a smile plastered on her face.</p>
  <p>Amaya simply winks at her as she walks through it, immediately reaching for her hand once they’re both inside.</p>
  <p>Their two law firms, the best in town, at that, have always had the misfortune to be in the same building.</p>
  <p>Or at least, that’s what Janai had thought after the third time that the bastard downstairs had swept a case off her hands.</p>
  <p>She’d marched into Katolis Firm with murder in her eyes, and she’d found herself in front of the most beautiful woman she’d ever seen in her life. She’d fallen in love right there and then.</p>
  <p>She hadn’t realized it then, but she knows now.</p>
  <p>Amaya had blatantly ignored her, a smug grin on her face as Janai had sputtered some excuse regarding wanting her case back.</p>
  <p>Amaya has refused, of course, and had gone ahead to win the case, but by then Janai had been a goner.</p>
  <p>They’d gone out once after that, and they’d both gravitated so quickly and so swiftly toward the other that any pretence had been thrown out the window.</p>
  <p>Janai had asked Gren, Amaya’s best friend, to teach her sign language, and she’d started taking classes at the local community college to speed up the process.</p>
  <p>But now, two months into their relationship and with more love in her heart than Janai has ever felt in her life, she wonders if it’s too soon to ask her to move in together.</p>
  <p>Pulling the old U-Haul in the back of the Subaru kind of deal.</p>
  <p>They haven’t even slept together yet, too focused on keeping it slow, but Janai is certain this is a woman she’d like to spend eternity with.</p>
  <p>As she’s mulling over this, Amaya grabbing their hot chocolate order from the Starbucks at the main floor, Janai notices the Sunfire Elf who is looking around like they have no idea where they are. She subtly catches their attention, wiggling her fingers in their direction, then raising a questioning eyebrow.</p>
  <p>They introduce themselves as Kazi, effectively confirming they are the intern who’s going to be following her around for the next two months, and Janai recognizes the same awkwardness of when she’d started out, years ago.</p>
  <p>Placing a hand on her shoulder, Amaya takes a seat next to Janai, placing the paper tray with their orders on the table.</p>
  <p>She looks at Kazi, curiously, and Janai smiles.</p>
  <p>“Kazi, this is Amaya. She works a couple floors below us, at Katolis firm and-“</p>
  <p>Kazi, to both hers and Amaya’s surprise, lights up.</p>
  <p>And starts signing.</p>
  <p>“Amaya?! I know all about you.” They exclaim, hands moving quickly and expertly with an ease that makes Janai almost jealous. “Your opening statement for <em>Viren vs. Xadia </em>was mind blowing! I- is everything okay?!”</p>
  <p>Kazi stops, gaze flowing from Janai and Amaya and back.</p>
  <p>Both of them are looking at the young intern in complete awe, and Amaya turns to shoot an impressed glance at Janai.</p>
  <p>I like them.</p>
  <p>Janai nods, a growing smile on her face.</p>
  <p>“Oh, I like them, too.”</p>
</blockquote><p> </p>
<p>Kazi proves themselves to be absolutely fantastic. They’re smart, quick on their feet, and know way more languages than Janai could ever imagine learning.</p>
<p>And yet sometimes, when they’re talking to her in Common, something slips through the crack.</p>
<p>Often times, Janai simply finds it amusing.</p>
<p>Kazi and her have a close friendship that allows her to be honest with them and tell them when something sounds terribly off.</p>
<p>But that also means that Kazi, who was at first terribly awkward and afraid to ask to go to the washroom, is now thriving when listening to her love life’s details.</p>
<p>Janai doesn’t have many friends, and she’s been quite lonely since Khessa’s death.</p>
<p>But Kazi is a great listener, and gives amazing advices, and knows almost everything about the small steps they’re taking in their relationship.</p>
<p>Kazi is the only person Janai has told about her desire to finally make love to Amaya for the first time.</p>
<p>They’ve been dating for four months now, which is longer than Janai has ever gone without sleeping with someone she’s dated, and she thinks it speaks volumes about her commitment to this woman.</p>
<p>Sure, both her and Amaya have been incredibly busy, Amaya with the <em>Viren vs Xadia</em> case being brought up again by the Supreme Court and Viren’s lawyer, Aaravos, being a complete <em>dick</em> in court.</p>
<p>And Janai has had to travel back and forth from her hometown since Khessa has left a pile of unfinished business to settle.</p>
<p>They have been busy.</p>
<p>And Janai is frustrated and impatient, but she wouldn’t have it any other way.</p>
<p>She loves Amaya and she loves her job, and she knows it’s the same for her girlfriend.</p>
<p>She’s told Kazi as much.</p>
<p>So it shouldn’t come as a surprise when, in lieu of the first weekend off they both have in ages, Kazi asks her that question.</p>
<p>“Are you going to be intimate?”</p>
<p>Janai opens her mouth to answer, to tell Kazi that, although the word works well in their native language, it sounds way too formal for Common.</p>
<p>And she stops.</p>
<p>What does intimacy mean, anyway?</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Because sometimes, intimacy means sliding behind Amaya in a warm bath, their bodies pressed together with no malice, no further intentions.</p>
<p>Just warm, and cozy, and comfortable in the other woman’s presence.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sometimes, it means paint smeared overalls, old newspapers on the floor, Bob Ross playing on tv and a glass of wine in their free hand. It means laughing at the other’s happy accidents, and getting poked on the nose with a splotch of color, and pouting and pouting and pouting; just until Amaya is breathless with laughter and crawls on top of her to kiss her, their paintings all but forgotten.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sometimes it’s wrapping Amaya in a tight burrito of blankets, making sure that she can’t move, because she’s <em>sick, for the love of God</em>, and it doesn’t matter that it’s their day off, <em>you are not getting out of bed!</em></p>
<p>It’s wrapping herself around that burrito, keeping her even warmer from the cold sweats, pressing her lips against her forehead until the nausea subsides.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Some other times it’s about the Kleenex box that gets passed between her and her girlfriend, while they watch <em>Room</em> on Netflix, tightly curled against one another with Janai’s cat watching them from the kitchen counter.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>And sometimes it’s forgetting Netflix altogether, being too exhausted to pay attention to anything, too tired to even make it to the bed. It’s falling asleep on Amaya’s incredibly comfortable couch, her head on her girlfriend’s lap and Amaya’s mouth slightly parted as she snores.</p>
<p>Their necks are going to hurt like hell in the morning, but it’s not like it wasn’t worth it.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Some rare times, it’s heated discussions, it’s frustration because they can’t understand each other, or confusion because of cultural differences. But it’s also always about working through it together, making efforts to meet each other halfway and not let a misunderstanding get in the way of their love.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>At times, at very regular times, it’s having Amaya’s apartment invaded by laughter and the pit patter of dozens of feet.</p>
<p>It’s having Amaya’s nephews over for games night, with Ezran usually winning at Catan and Callum absolutely destroying them at Scrabble. It’s letting Amaya win Risk and being rewarded with a match of Munchkin.</p>
<p>It’s pizza and chips and CocaCola.</p>
<p>It’s the look of not-so-subtle relief on Callum’s new girlfriend face when she finds out there’s another Elf in the room.</p>
<p>It’s hearing Ezran mumble “Night Auntie Janai.” before Callum hoists him on his shoulder while heading out the door.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s popcorn battles on the couch, home cooked meals at the dinner table, marshmallows floating in hot cocoa on a winter day.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sometimes is about Amaya’s cold fingers sliding under her tank top, caressing her stomach, as the human presses her chest into Janai’s back.</p>
<p>It’s about Amaya’s lips grazing just under her ear, nipping at the skin, while Janai is so desperately trying to make breakfast.</p>
<p>It’s Amaya switching the burner off and making her turn around so that she can kiss her, palms on her neck and tongue sliding through her parted lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s getting pulled by the hand to this or that isle, because Amaya can’t decide if she needs to grab ice cream or cookies, hummus or yogurt, more toilet paper or a new toothbrush.</p>
<p>And it’s buying all of them anyway, with an additional toothbrush so that <em>you can leave it at my place</em>.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s about Sundays in bed, tickling Amaya’s sides until she’s laughing so hard they’re barely breathing.</p>
<p>It’s kissing her right after, her happy smile still on her lips.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s working late at night at two corners of the same desk, hunched over piles and piles of cases that need to be reorganized.</p>
<p>It’s the soft <em>thunk</em> of Amaya’s head hitting the table when she inevitably falls asleep, and it’s Janai’s hand reaching up to remove her reading glasses from her scrunched up nose and finishing up her girlfriend work for her.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It’s being reached by Amaya’s hand as they’re settling to sleep, her pinkie, index and thumb extended while she gently squeezes her arm with them.</p>
<p>It’s seeing the look of hope and fear and boldness on Amaya’s face, softly coloured by the orange light of the bedside table.</p>
<p>It’s feeling tears prickling at the corner of her eyes and whispering back<em> I love you, too.</em></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Janai knows what Kazi means in their mention of intimacy.</p>
<p>She knows exactly what they’re asking.</p>
<p>But being intimate with Amaya is more than that. It’s more than sex.</p>
<p>Intimacy between them is being within each other, knowing what the other is thinking because they care for each other and pay attention to each other.</p>
<p>It’s closeness and understanding.</p>
<p>It’s friendship and love.</p>
<p>It’s all that and so much more.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Yes.” She tells Kazi with a smile.</p>
<p>Amaya waves at her from the entrance of their office, a bouquet of flowers in her other hand that Janai has had delivered to her office earlier that day, just <em>because</em>.</p>
<p>“Yes, we are.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>The lovely cookiescr on tumblr made a couple WONDERFUL doodles for this fic!<br/>You can check them out over here</p>
<p>1. https://cookiescr.tumblr.com/post/190431012386/heres-a-digital-version-of-the-doodle-based-on<br/>2. https://cookiescr.tumblr.com/post/190439989841/lexa-lives-in-us-i-really-wanted-to-see-janai-in</p></blockquote></div></div>
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